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He was found wandering in the snow
His black boots stark against the white
His breath still barely warm
He was lost in his own mind
Didn't know who he was
Whatever problems he had were forgotten
On his knees, panting hard as he could muster
The troops slowly surrounded
He hadn't been back to barracks all night
Sent for rations, but left his mind
Snapped his nerves in two
Sometimes we can't take the pressure
Sometimes even the hardest fall
Especially when we try to be the best
When we don't share our struggle
In the face of war
While being trained to fight
He fell from grace
Not out of fear of death or fighting
But fear of not holding up to expectations
Of not having lived the perfect life
He was picked up by either arm pit
Hauled back in the jeep
He wasn't going to Korea now
He would visit the doctor
Back then they had a solution
His hands where strapped to the side of the chair
The loud humming of electricity surrounds him
Like bees buzzing, waiting for movement
His mouth is forced open
His teeth and tongue are secured
By the large hunk of metal work in his mouth
His eyes shut
His mouth chomps down hard
The switch is flipped
Violent voltage races through his blood
His entire body seizes, riding on the flow of amperage
His muscles tense against his restraints
He tastes rust in his mouth and can't swallow
Because he screams as much as he can
But it's stiffled by the cage which entraps his mouth
His mass falls hard down now
Smoke rises from his body
Stickiness covers his skin
Suddenly, he remembers
Suddenly, he wishes he didn't
The doctor says he can't live a perfect life
So for the rest of it, he doesn't try so hard
He accepts failure and watches it flow by
Sits back, and suffers silently
Life isn't perfect
And it never will be
He'll never be able to visit the dentist comfotably again
Can't stand the metal in his mouth
But he continues to live
Experiences ups and downs
I knew this man
and I still know him
But I'll never be able to grasp
The power and tragedy of the thoughts in his head
I'll never understand fully who he was
He master the art of suppression
He made his problems his own, his one and only
My dad, i wish I knew what ate at you and your sectrets for fighting it back
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True story about my father. Crazy huh? So much about his life I don't know. Sitting in CS clas. It sucks so bad. So does not getting what you want the most. I feel like I have everything I need in life sometimes, but not what I really want. And that what I really want is unobtainable. Perfect life can't exhist I guess. I think part of your parents soul is transfered into you too. How do you teach the same struggle.
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